Set this to trance music and sell it to 19 yr old ravers

The following letter was faxed to my office, as well as the DA's office, the CIA, the FBI, the DEA and a few others. This is awesome (edited for length):

Agencies -
RECENT HOT TUB INCIDENT ON ANTIOCH RD. COULD HAVE BEEN ORCHESTRATED. THIS WAS IN HALL COUNTY. ON THE COVER OF GOLF DIGEST IS TOM WATSON AND A SICKLY AND DEPRESSED JACK NICHOLAUS. YOU HAVE REPORTS OF JACK NICKLAUS LOSING A GRANDSON TO A HOT TUB INCIDENT IN NOT TO DISTANT PAST. AT THE TIME THE TIMELINESS OF THAT INCIDENT SEEM TO BE PERTINENT. THIS INCIDENT IN HALL COUNTY WOULD FIT THE BOWLING BALL SCENARIO. ASSAILANTS SHOULD BE CHECKED TO SEE IF THEY HAVE DRUG RECORDS. DID THEY THROW THE KID IN THE HOT TUB OUT OF A DRUNKEN RAGE BECAUSE OF THE METH BUST IN ATLANTA. KALAN WHEELER, ORIGIN OF THE LYLE CASE IN ATHENS, GA. HAD A HOT TUB AND SHE IS IN JAIL NOW FOR METH. THIS DRUG MAKES CRAZIES OUT OF PEOPLE. I'VE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN THE PGA. WHY, I DO NOT KNOW. I FEEL THE HOT TUB CASE IN HALL COUNTY IS THE BOWLING BALL SCENARIO. COULD THIS CRIME OR SUBDIVISION MOM CRIME BY RUNNING OVER BOWLING BALL PEDESTRIANS BE A PUBLIC ILLNESS. COULD IT SUBSTNTIATE THE DENNIS PAYNE CASE. MOM OR DAD THROWS THE CHILDREN IN THE SEWAGE POND. I GREW UP ACROSS THE STREET FROM A MAN NAMED DENNIS PAYNE. COULD THESE CRIMES BE CONDUCTED BY PEOPLE IN THE DRUG WORLD THAT ARE SAYING HOW WILL I RAISE MY CHILD WITHOUT THE DRUG. THROW HIM IN THE HOT TUB AND MAKE IT SAY A STATEMENT OF TERRORISM. ALSO THOUSANDS OF KEGS OF WINE BURNED AND IT COULD ALUDE TO THE INSOGNA MAZZARA CASE. THE TIMELINESS OF THESE CASES ARE NOT UNALARMING. THANK YOU FOR THE BIG DRUG BUST. THERE ARE PEOPLE IN ATHENS, GA WHO ARE IN FLIGHT. PLEASE TAKE NOTICE, OF FLIGHT.