Monday, July 27, 2009

The greatest court case ever

I actually saw this take place in court the other day. It was a probation revocation, which is basically like a trial only it's decided by judge rather than jury.
At about two in the afternoon a middle age man looks out the back window of his apartment. he notices a young black man in a white shirt and a green and white striped hat being manually pleasured by way-too-young looking black female on a balcony. He calls the finest, who dispatch an officer to the scene. As he approaches the apartment complex he sees (you guessed it) a young black man wearing a white shirt and a green and white striped hat.

The finest actually get on the phone with witness and tell him "We got him." They drive the man (sans hat) back over to the witness for an ID where they are promptly told that they have the wrong guy. The finest put the green and white striped hat on his head and the witness subsequently says that it is in fact the guy. So he gets arrested for public indecency. Identity of girl (or her actual age) never discovered or investigated.

This is when the PD's offices comes out swinging. We cll the client's brother, who testifies to this: on the day in question he, our client and two friends (Shorty P and C Rock) were in their 'studio' recording a rap album. Their studio is actually his grandma's apartment. There were a number of femals their as well to support them. Grandma's location never established, but it is reported she is "not well." All members of the rap group were a matching outfit of blue jeans, white shirts and (here it comes again) a green and white striped hat (with the exception of the brother himself, who as the leader wears a read and white striped hat. All hats mentioned are Atlanta Braves hats). The brother had actually left about half an hour before the public indecency began, but said that when he left all three green and white hat-clad co-members were there.

Under cross examination he concedes that shorty p, while not short, does not look like our client. C Rock, however, is evidently a dead ringer for him. At a probation revocation the judge has to be 51% sure you committed the crime to revoke your probation. in his findings, he says that there's a 50% chance it was our client that was getting serviced and a 50% chance it was C Rock. No revocation . Justice served


Blogger Huevos McGringo said...

my favorite part of the story (as you told it at lunch yesterday) was that nobody in the court room [judge, PDs, DAs] bothered to ask for Shorty P and C Rock's real names. they could totally be made up.

7/29/2009 12:04 PM  

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