My drunk stories are never this good

"Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg, and 'passed gas loudly'"

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this is like self-parody:

PC is right, she has shockingly similar syntax to W (just a different accent). she seems way dumber than tina fey's impression of her.

Reno slays it:

for those of you no longer in athens/not on facebook, i wanted to share some of the images i noticed of our own reno melons bringing the noise at a recent "dance off" at 283.

here he is just getting warmed up:


...taking it up a notch:


...now really getting down and dirty.


there's a reason he's a legend, ladies and gents. and look how svelte he is these days.

Scary

But look on the brightside, maybe after this I won't have to throw away a full bottle of shampoo every time I go to the airport. And if it turns out you were just nervous about flying and didn't need that strip search, freedom isn't free hippie.

nice teeth, mccain:

more here. thanks to captain EO.

Marine Life

Last night I went to the Redondo Beach Pier where I saw three sharks spread on the deck as trophies, one guy hand the lucky anglers a $20 and walk off with one of the sharks by its tail, and a kid snag a lobster, grab it by its antennae, and stuff it, still moving, into his backpack, all very nonchalantly. I also found a Korean place on the pier (after I had already eaten) that serves live shrimp.

Tina Fey is dead on:

watch the whole thing. pretty solid.

Obama speaks:

here's the new ad the obama campaign put out today. two minutes long, focusing on the economy with no personal attacks (mccain is not even mentioned). i think this is a strong step towards getting back on message, hope they buy up some prime airtime for it.

D.F.W. erases his own map

Got word from Mr. Huevos tonight that David Foster Wallace, the author of the finest book I've ever read is dead by suicide at 46. I was introduced to the Infiite Jest by my roommate in college who, as far as I could tell did not really read any other books. Instead, he kept the jest by his chair and, having previously read it cover to cover, would read it the way some people do the Bible--opening it to any random page and beginning from there. After a year of observing this I finally bought it and three months and eleven hundred pages later was a devotee myself. It is sometimes dismissed as post-modern high brow jibberish but the genius of the jest is the same as any great book: 1. wit and wisdom 2. characters you know and love. To name just a few of the latter: Michael Pemulis, Randy Lenz, Don Gately and Mario Incandenza, who are each in their own way amazing.
I can read the jest or any of his other fine works (consider the lobster in particular is also great)today just as i could yesterday, so in the strictest sense i am not impacted by his death. Hopefully he had something in his lifetime that gave him as much enjoyment as his books give me, and hopefully his death (and the accompanying mini-wave of publicity) will cause his star to burn as bright as his talent deserves.

David Foster Wallace, dead at 46.

as most all of you know, wallace penned Infinite Jest. easily the best book i've ever read.

rest in peace.

letter to a friend

Dear Sarah,

I watched the first part of your interview last night and I knew exactly how you felt. All these complicated questions. That was really not fair. I was in exactly the same situation during all my oral exams and therefore was able to put myself in your shoes yesterday.

Let me just tell you: You did so well! You really prepared the same way I did: Try to imagine what they are going to ask and prepare the answer in advance. That always works just fine. And you were very well prepared. That was really obvious. I liked how you insisted on giving just one answer to the same question, even if it was asked repeatedly in a slightly different way. That just shows how efficient you are. As soon as you heard the signal words, e.g. Iran and Israel, your prepared answer was right on the spot. I mean they cannot really expect that you do more than that, right?

And you were so convincing. When the reporter asked you, whether you have doubts about your readiness to be VP, your answer “I am ready” was very convincing. I guess you practiced the “I am ready” phrase in front of a mirror countless times. Very smart! And the result was just marvelous. You’re a natural.

The thing with the Bush doctrine. Please do not worry about that. They really cannot expect that you prepare for every possible question in advance. And come on! A hockey mom does not have to know stuff like that. Why didn’t he ask you how the last moose hunt went? That really was not fair. But you did a very good job and once again applied the same tactic as me in my oral doctoral exam: If you have no idea what the guy is talking about you just start talking and talking and talking. I did the same thing and it worked fine for me. We both know, that at some point the guy asking the questions is going to clarify. And Charlie did at the end. Good job Sarah!

And your answer with respect to your foreign relation and national security credentials, especially as far as Russia is concerned... perfect. You could not have been more clear when you said, that you can basically see Russia from some parts of Alaska. That must be enough for all these guys doubting your experience that you definitely have, just by living in Alaska. I can see the park down the street from my kitchen window. I mean doesn’t that qualify me to be a tree hugger? We both know it does.

Traveling to Kuwait and a military hospital in Germany really is a big accomplishment and I can totally see why you consider this trip a “trip of a lifetime.” Some commentators were not fair to point out last week that you just spent some time at the military hospital in Landstuhl, Germany and that’s it. You know, Europe looks the same everywhere anyway. So why bother to go somewhere else and at least the guys at the American military hospital speak your language. May I give you an advice for the next time the foreign experience question comes up? You could point out that you have eaten pasta, pad thai, and sushi before. That connects you to three countries/regions just like that…I am sure you can come up with more until the beginning of October, so that J. Biden will have no arguments.

You definitely demonstrated yesterday that you have more foreign relations experience than Hillary Clinton. You knew how to pronounce the name of the Georgian leader correctly. Remember how Hillary struggled to pronounce the new Russian president’s name last spring? Sarah, you are so much better than her! So much better than everyone.

You tied the Iraq war to 9/11. Some people say that this is just not possible any more after all we knew then and all we know today. But you know, who really cares? In the end, all those people over there are a threat to the U.S. I mean Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Greece…all the same stuff. They all have beards and therefore look suspicious. So you are on the right track. Don’t let them fool you with all that talk about the wrong war and stuff. Keep working on smoking them out of their holes, wherever those holes are. That is god’s will and you know it (even if you couldn’t really say that directly yesterday, because the liberal media would have just taken your words out of context).

Talking about war. I really liked how you pointed out again, that it is just crucial to win the war in Iraq. After all that is what it is really all about: Winning, no matter what and how. If we cannot win the hearts and minds of the people over there we should at least win the war. Whatever that means. The U.S. just does not lose. Especially not now, after China got more gold medals than the U.S. in the Olympics (but to be fair: the U.S. had more medals over all…so we didn’t really lose at the Olympics either).

You also handled the NATO question very well. That was a tricky one. Even though you clearly had no idea what consequences it would have if Georgia joins NATO you guessed the answer from the reporter’s question. I know that is really hard to do and bears some risks. And going to war with Russia over Georgia would be just the same as invading Iraq, or whatever country it was...just a piece of cake as we know now. Well done again Sarah!

You also did a good job telling everyone about your views with respect to who is causing global warming. You agreed that global warming is partly man-made. How in the world could Charlie try to portray you as a Kerry-flip-flopper when he pointed out that you refused to see the human impact in the past. You rightfully denied that assertion because the remarks he was referring to were made before you got introduced to the American people at the convention. Hello??!!! I mean doesn't he know that nothing is older than policy positions taken before the convention?

Sarah, I am really looking forward to watching the next part of the interview tonight. You are one dangerous woman, for the Democrats that is.

Hope you're well,
you friend K.

P.S. I liked the lipstick that you put on for the interview…

"somebodies"

alright, so everybody needs to start watching this new show on BET called "somebodies". it's a sitcom about guy living in a college town. i just watched the first two episodes, it's pretty good. the hook is that the show is SET IN AND SHOT ENTIRELY IN ATHENS. they showed a flash of "the georgian" downtown. and do you recognize this spot? that's right, the church scene of the second episode WAS SHOT AT LITTLE KINGS. inside and outside shots of the place, including the congregants seating on the motley set of chairs they have in there.

fucking blew my mind. here's a video clip (though it sadly lacks visible athens sightings or landmarks):

clinton revisited?

hopefully the recent polling numbers on white women will come back to earth. but i am worried. and it does make me briefly rethink the possibility of clinton as VP. clinton might have helped keep women voters in the democratic fold. i don't really believe it's clinton supporters that palin is bringing in, they couldn't be that stupid. but moderate/swing vote women, palin is having an impact. and clinton's presence might possibly have lessened that impact. anyway, articles like this are a nightmare scenario.

palin can still be exposed in the VP debate, but biden is going to have to be careful not to be seen as sexist/bullying. hopefully the moderator will ask some tough questions, and biden will be able to expose her ignorance and utter lack of qualification without getting his hands too dirty. btw, here is some insight into biden's strategy.

Last weekend...

...was awesome.
1. I went to see Polvo, for the first time in 10 years, in San Diego. Polvo, for the unfamiliar, in the live setting at least, take the best jams you've ever heard in your life, and make 4-12 minute, often instrumental songs out of them. Only they're not improvising, they're playing the stuff pretty much note for note, sometimes with different tunings, crafting songs that sound sometimes like they're about to fall apart, only they're supposed to sound that way. Don't let the word "jam" scare you away; Polvo make music as accessible to the ears of a Metallica fan as to those of a free jazz fan, though sometimes the guitars sound as much like sitars as guitars. One of the tightest bands you'll ever see. I love this band and it makes me sad to think this may be only a brief reunion.
The club, the Casbah, was cool too. Not as cool as the 40 Watt. But kind of like if the 40 Watt was broken up into little rooms. (Polvo LP recs: Today's Active LIfestyles, This Eclipse, Celebrate the New Dark Age, Cor-Crane Secret, Exploded Drawing)
2. Afterwards I ate tacos at a Mexican Wrestling themed taco spot (Lucha Libre Taco Stop), with walls covered with photos, posters, and action figures. Read more here, at my brand new other blog.
3. Alabama won...big. As you may have heard from KB for all of Saturday night.
4. This weekend probably won't be as awesome unless the Mets sweep the Phillies, which I think is impossible as I'm pretty sure they just lost the first game.

more palin mania:

check out this daily show bit. watch the whole thing. best stuff i've seen on there in a while, so infuriatingly right on. thanks to "ahab" for bringing it to my attention.

learning new words

I learned a couple of new words in the last days:

#1: “vetting process”

#2: “shotgun marriage”

In the case of another word I had to check the spelling again: “hypocrisy”.

I have the next week off and I am trying to figure out where to go on a short vacation here in Europe. However, I might just buy some popcorn and stay home to watch CNN.

The last couple of days were the ultimate soap opera. I mean you gotta love America! So there is a VP candidate who puts abstinence on the top of her agenda and who supports no sex ed in schools. The social conservatives are thrilled. When the VP candidate announces that her 17-year old daughter is 5 months pregnant and that she’s glad that her daughter “chose” to keep the baby, the same social conservatives are quick to point out that it makes the candidate seem more like the rest of us. How could governor Palin’s daughter “choose” to make the decision if her mother is running to remove the right to choose from every American?

I feel so bad for Palin’s daughter. I guess the no sex education in her school and the abstinence training supported by her mother didn’t really work out for her. Let teens just have sex as much or as little as they want. Educate them, teach them about consequences, and buy them some condoms. Anything else is just plain illusion.

The campaign announces that Governor Palin’s daughter is getting married. I really hope that she had some say-so in this decision also. I fear however, that she didn’t. This entire thing is ridiculous. If Palin knew about her daughter being pregnant, she had to know that her daughter would become the subject of intense discussion in the media. Why in the world would you accept the VP post accepting that? That is just beyond me and once again, I feel incredibly bad for her daughter.

The word hypocrisy becomes a whole new meaning. Not because her daughter is expecting a baby but because Governor Palin is accepting the VP post knowing that her family is the ultimate proof for the fact that the policies she is in favor of simply do not work. I mean what was she thinking? She must have expected that the press does not find out. If you look at the video of her first speech, her pregnant daughter is holding Governor Palin’s new born with a huge pillow covering her stomach…

What we are seeing is the same kind of hypocrisy that makes underage kids in downtown Athens drink their heads off and pass out in the streets past 2 a.m. on a Saturday night before going to church on Sunday morning with their parents.

And what does the Palin-story teach us about the quality of McCain’s vetting process? I think my kitchen table would have been able to show better judgment as John McCain in this matter. If he would handle important decisions as a president like he handled the selection process, we can kiss America good night. I read somewhere today that one of his aids revealed, that 48 hours before the VP-announcement, McCain was still going to pick Lieberman and that Governor Palin was not considered a serious option. 48 hours and a 15 minute conversation later she is the new messiah of the GOP. And now after she was chosen, McCain is sending lawyers to Alaska to check her background again…Give me a break!

After watching Palin’s acceptance speech (and after cleaning out my ears with soap) I have to say that Palin unfortunately might after all turn out to be the right choice for the wrong reasons for the Republicans. And that is not because of her extensive experience in foreign relations being the governor of the state that is closest to Russia, like Cindy McCains pointed out. It is because of her stands on “issues” like abortion, religion, and creationism and the importance of moral issues in American politics.

The events of the last days showed once and for all: those issues should not play a role in the politics of a country that regards itself as being the forefront of everything that is right in this world. I had dinner with friends yesterday and we tried to come up with reasons for all this. Why is a progressive country like the U.S. still living in the 18th century when it comes to moral issues? Is it just religion? And why does obvious hypocrisy get rewarded by the public. We couldn’t come up with an explanation. Maybe 4KS can give us some input.

Ninjas

If any of you have not read the book Real Ultimate Power by Robert Hamburger (and I expect that's all of you) you should do so as soon as possible. I expect it will give you a new appreciation for the total sweetness of ninjas. However, be sure that you don't get over excited and end up like these guys. I love the fact that one of the ninjas took a brief detour from fighting evil to harass his girlfriend.

A good old fashioned public shaming?

If anyone is interested, I just walked by the courthouse and there was an old guy sitting on the steps holding a sign that said "Dog Killer" followed by what I assumed was his name. More info as it develops.