Monday, July 27, 2009

The greatest court case ever

I actually saw this take place in court the other day. It was a probation revocation, which is basically like a trial only it's decided by judge rather than jury.
At about two in the afternoon a middle age man looks out the back window of his apartment. he notices a young black man in a white shirt and a green and white striped hat being manually pleasured by way-too-young looking black female on a balcony. He calls the finest, who dispatch an officer to the scene. As he approaches the apartment complex he sees (you guessed it) a young black man wearing a white shirt and a green and white striped hat.

The finest actually get on the phone with witness and tell him "We got him." They drive the man (sans hat) back over to the witness for an ID where they are promptly told that they have the wrong guy. The finest put the green and white striped hat on his head and the witness subsequently says that it is in fact the guy. So he gets arrested for public indecency. Identity of girl (or her actual age) never discovered or investigated.

This is when the PD's offices comes out swinging. We cll the client's brother, who testifies to this: on the day in question he, our client and two friends (Shorty P and C Rock) were in their 'studio' recording a rap album. Their studio is actually his grandma's apartment. There were a number of femals their as well to support them. Grandma's location never established, but it is reported she is "not well." All members of the rap group were a matching outfit of blue jeans, white shirts and (here it comes again) a green and white striped hat (with the exception of the brother himself, who as the leader wears a read and white striped hat. All hats mentioned are Atlanta Braves hats). The brother had actually left about half an hour before the public indecency began, but said that when he left all three green and white hat-clad co-members were there.

Under cross examination he concedes that shorty p, while not short, does not look like our client. C Rock, however, is evidently a dead ringer for him. At a probation revocation the judge has to be 51% sure you committed the crime to revoke your probation. in his findings, he says that there's a 50% chance it was our client that was getting serviced and a 50% chance it was C Rock. No revocation . Justice served

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Dear Huevos-
Just had my own NBA star sighting, though I am without visual proof. JC and I were taking a ridiculously packed elevator down on the way out today and, as the elevator stopped, Sam Cassell declined to board. I'm embarrassed to say that JC was actually the one to recognize him. I think I may have seen Greg Popovich in the hallway on the way to Saturday's ceremony. Sam Cassell was not as big as Chris Bosch.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

vegas, baby. vegas.

the wifeyfriend and i jet off tonight to mc2's nuptials in vegas. my first ever trip to the entertainment capital of the world. reno, HC, and 22 will be blowing up the spot as well.

congrats in advance to our fine friend.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

straight trumped!!


gentlemen and ladies, there is a new astra on the scene. they kick the old astra's ass.

thank you to OJ for spotlighting them; though i think he knew not what he did with reference to 4KS. OJ describes them as "floating in outer space with a flute in your hand and a sac full of acid bits", which is also a solid description of what sauce and the boyz were badly aiming for.

i feel like the world has been flipped on it's head.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

while honeymooning...

... ran into motherfuckin chris bosh in barcelona! spotted this giant walking down la rambla at 2:30 am last saturday. i was out of sorts crunk, but pulled myself together for this pic. really nice dude. also even huger than i imagined. looks really skinny compared to other nba ballers, but was a solid foot wider than me. in hindsight i think he might have been there with bargnani, but i was too starstruck to notice.

btw, don't recall what your thoughts after your stay there, big cat, but for me barcelona is top notch. really energetic, totally unpretentious, beach in town, lots of cool gaudi shit. i preferred it to paris or rome. those places were amazing to visit, but i'd rather live in barcelona (if that were somehow an option).

Friday, July 03, 2009


...found this via another message board the other day. I was always a Lego fan myself, rather than Playmobil.

Other activities of late:

1)Eating this sandwich (above). It's called a cemita and I found it in a sparsely decorated little restaurant in East LA. I meant to order something without meat, but the cashier wasn't really into speaking English, and my Spanish is very limited, so I ended up with a sandwich with pickled pig skin, basically a BBQ sandwich. It comes with lot's of avocado, quesillo (Mexican string cheese) and jalapenos and chipotles. It's one of the four or five best sandwiches I've ever had. On that note, I really miss that sandwich at Caliente Cab they called a Cuban, the one that wasn't really a Cuban, from what I could tell.

2)As part of a GA Theater tribute, last night I did the Dark Side of Oz thing for the first time, and I have to say that there's something to it. It works particularly well in the first 1/2 hour of the record, and then you kinda get bored. The tornado scene is worth it alone.

3)Whistling to "The Winds of Change" this morning at the grocery. (Down in Gorky Park...)
4) Reading Freakanomics which I should have read about 3 or 4 years ago when PC offered to loan it to me.
5) Listening to the ridiculous Prog box set my cousin burned for me.
6) Playing golf at that course that Jon Favreau and the guy from Office Space hit up in Swingers. 2/3 times I've played with a senior citizen with at least one major health problem and gotten schooled. The dude I played with today said he used to play on the PGA, which I thought was bullshit at first. Until I watched him play a few holes. He was very patient with me.
7)Watching Wimbledon.