Lizstomania

My top 10 assorted stuff for 05...

1.The last song OTC played at Orange Twin, with J. Fernandes on vocals
2.The spelling bee
3.Records by MF Doom, Silver Jews, Baby Huey, Soul Jazz, Revenant Records, Atelia, SM, Ham1, Kanye West and others I bought that I'm forgetting
4.Chad Johnson’s checklist
5.Albert Ayler Holy Ghost (box set)-best Christmas present since the Death Star (‘79)
6.RuSans Athens opening night
7.Glugga Glugga-MB's psych comp
8.Those huge fucking crabs at the aquarium
9.Hmong Day, in my classroom, about a month ago
10.Pudge taking a shit in front of a really hot girl on Clayton St., broad daylight.

etymology 101:

The word sauce is of French derivation, taken from the Latin salsus (meaning salted).

a small vindication of reason.

nice to see the "intelligent design" movement take another hit. unfortunately we've far from heard the last of this farcical controversy.

Excuses, excuses

Man, if I had a dollar for every time this has happened to me...

Velena scores...

http://pitchforkmedia.com/news/05-12/16.shtml

friday potpourri

check out these monkeys enjoying a dip in a japanese hot spring:

also, take a look at the awesome goggles ben wallace has donned:



in political news, the republicans are having a bit of trouble getting the patriot act renewed. take note of bill frist ironically invoking "A nation in fear cannot be a nation that's free" directly after saying "should we take a step forward in making America safer or should we go back to the pre-9/11 days when terrorists slip through the cracks?" what an asshole.

he's saucy, the sailor man.

apparently, jeremy sellers stands for the following values:

- Conservative Christian
- 100% Pro Life
- Pro Marriage
- Pro Gun

to learn more about jeremy's belief system, consult here:

http://jeremysellers.org/

all hail Sexual Blackness.

our own reno mellons continues to enjoy success and acclaim with his disc-jockeying alter-ego [me thinks the 4KS staff may be the "late-night friends" mentioned therein]. this saturday he plays his first headlining gig at the 40W. everybody come out and show your love and support at “DJ Mahogany’s Super Sexxxy Soul Xmas Dance Party”.

In Another Life...

In another life, if I was a tattoo artist, I would tattoo a huge "W" on each one of Jeremy's ass cheeks. So, if he ever happened not to be wearing a thong and if he ever happened to bend over in front of me (while picking up something...I guess) then his ass would say "WOW" for me and I wouldn't have to say a word...

Only in another life....

If I Could Be...

If I could be 2 things at once...I would be Barry White and a small dipping cup of butter. Jeremy Sellers could be a piece of lobster meat. I would pick Jeremy up and dip his "meat" in my "small" dipping cup and I would let the meat soak up all of my "butter". Then, I would slowly remove him from the butter and put him in my mouth. I would suck all of the butter off of the meat before putting the whole piece in my mouth with delicatable satisfaction. Then, I would sing "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babe".

Ahhh....if only I could be 2 things at once...

If I Was...

If I was Barry White, I would take Jeremy Sellers and roll him around in a bowl of milk and then once was really white & wet I would roll him around in some sweet powdery flour. Then, I would gently put him in a black cast iron skillet full of Crisco and fry him until he turned a light golden brown. Afterwards, I would pick him up with the sexiest silver tongs I could find and lightly shake off the remaining oil and let him relax on a paper towel. Then, once he cooled down (but only for a little bit), I would put him in my mouth and let all the juices squirt in my big black mouth slowly & very erotically. Next, I would savor all the flavor that Jeremy would give until the juice ran out of the corner of my mouth. MMMmmmmm......I can taste him already. Then afterwards, I would sing "You're The First, The Last, My Everything"...

Ahhh....if only I was Barry White......

scare tactics.

in an obvious attempt to intimidate 4KS and discourage its incisive commentary on his character, the sauce published this picture of him toting an automatic weapon. the effort has failed: i still publicly decry the sauce as a bitch. nice try, redneck.

it's about time.

4KS's calls for a [slightly] sensible detainee treatment policy have been answered. was this really that hard a point to concede?

"fuckin frat guys"

this is taken from some dumb bulletin board post the sauce made on myspace. you were supposed to indicate your 4 favorite past-times, 4 favorite movies, etc. here, we're going to focus on sauce's...

FOUR PET PEEVES:
1. unnecessary job-related rules
2. frat boys
3. people that expect things that they don't deserve
4. bands like creed and nickleback

classic sauce. i wonder what else would have made the cut if the list was longer...

If only they had some minutemen...

This is pretty shameful. The Mexicans wouldn't stay in their shed.

www.onlineathens.com/stories/120205/news_20051202075.shtml

recognize this rocker?

it's actor john corbett. many of you may recognize him from "sex and the city" or the film "my big fat dumb movie only middle-aged people liked", but in my estimation he clearly peaked on northern exposure.

anyway, now he has a shitty country band; check out his website. when you enter the site, you get to hear the chorus of some atrocious song called "whole other bottle of whiskey". take a look at the photo gallery as well. i'm actually embarassed for the guy.

Thank you Mr. Huevos, and a clarification

I should make it clear that the familial tradition Mr. Huevos speaks of are not pineapple colonoscopies themselves. I look forward to being a frequent contributor, both with original material and by fact checking Mr. Huevos.

and then there were 7.

4KS is happy to welcome a [near unprecedented] seventh member to the staff. ben "love" makin, a defender of the public in the athens-clarke-oconee area (and an erstwhile provider of 4KS fodder for yours truly), has expressed interest in joining the team. we are lucky to have him. his moniker, which is derived from a familial tradition in the makin household, shall be Pineable Colonoscopy.

ps- a shocking eighth individual has expressed a desire in taking part in the joyous celebration of life that is 4KS. i shouldn't comment on his identity while his application is under consideration, but i'll give you two hints: he's handsome, and he's german.

what might have been

alright, it's time for a hoops rant. if roundball ain't your bag, turn away. the topic is of course your hometown atlanta hawks.

while the hawks have only managed 2 wins, they actually look somewhat promising. while not a superstar, joe johnson is still a top-tier player. al harrington has played very well as the team's now-veteran leader, zaza pachulia looks like a legitimate center, and the joshes smith and childress continue to show some promise. lastly, first round pick marvin williams oozes potention, and 2nd round steal salim stoudamire is a fantastic spark off the bench. in summation, the hawks have a lot of talented players, and while they suck right now, they could definitely be a playoff team in a couple years.

but if only the hawks had drafted chris paul. paul is the early favorite for rookie of the year, putting up 16 points, 7 assists, and 2 steals a night. as this commentator noted prior to the draft, paul is the most promising point guard to hit the league since jason kidd. marvin williams is very talented, but i believe the pundits are wrong: he will never be an all-league player. meanwhile, in approximately 1 year, chris paul will be the best point guard in the NBA. if the hawks had drafted paul (and had still made the joe johnson trade), i assert they would have been a .500 team this year, and a could have been a conference title contender next. alas, what might have been.

for those of you still reading, thank you for indulging my pontification, and have a lovely weekend.


ps- i would also like to note that a very young UNC squad has looked impressive, with four genuine impact freshman. they will not be ACC cellar-dwellars, as some have predicted.